- For the episode, see Viewing Party.
- See also: Full transcript on transcripts.foreverdreaming.org
- Andy: Why does Erin like Gabe?
- Darryl: Andy, look, all I know is that if I was a girl, and I had to choose between a tall dude who loved Asia, and the you looking dude who loves sweaters and wearing sweaters...I'd choose you.
- Andy: That's really nice. Thank you.
- Darryl: And I'd blow your mind.
- Michael: If you break that girl's heart, I will kill you. It's just a figure of speech. But seriously, if you break that girl's heart, I will literally kill you and your entire family.
- Erin: I don't know if Michael likes Gabe that much, but theres this thing on Glee called a mashup where you take two things that don't go together and they make a great song, take Gabe, take Michael, you get "Gaymike".
- Angela: Are you going [to the party]?
- Dwight: Not because I want to, of all feelings to base a show around, Glee? Thirst, now there's a show I'd watch.
- Angela: I would watch that.
- Jim: Hey.
- Pam: It's a miracle. She loves him.
- Jim: I don't know about "love."
- Dwight: She loves me.
- Angela: Outside. My car. Two minutes.
- Dwight: All right. Something's come up. I gotta go.
- Pam: No, no, no, she'll wake up.
- Dwight: No, I have something to do.
- Pam: I know what you have to do. Please stay with Cece. Dwight, I've always considered us to be very good friends. Great friends. Remember your concussion?
- Dwight: I do, but you married my worst enemy.
- Pam: I know.
- Jim: Well, I think enemy's a strong word, 'cause I think we have a really charming back-and-forth...
- Dwight: Enough. I will require beer and pizza to think this over.
- Pam: Absolutely.
- Dwight: From Jim.
- Jim: Well, I don't think that's...
- Pam: Do it.
- Jim: What kind of pizza would you like?
- Dwight: Surprise me. No. Pepperoni.
- Dwight: Mmm-mmm. Insert it in my mouth.
- Jim: Okay, that's not gonna make your pizza eating experience any better, trust me.
- Dwight: Oh, try me.
- Pam: Jim, just don't think of it as degrading. Think of it as you happen to be moving the pizza six inches this way, and he happens to be biting it.
- Dwight: I'd prefer for him to think of it as degrading.
- Jim: Okay.
- Dwight: Crust first. Okay. Now the beer. Beer me, Jim. Ssssss. Gentle. Mmm, mmm. Now I've got to go meet Angela.
- Pam: What? No, wait. You said you were gonna help us.
- Dwight: I have a legal obligation to Angela, okay? She needs to be serviced.
- Pam: Oh, God.
- Jim: You need to stop talking.
- Dwight: Oh, come on. Can we stop the fake prissy act? Join the real world. Sex contracts exist, okay?
- Pam: Okay, fine, there must be some way to get out of it, even just for tonight.
- Dwight: Yeah, sure. Jim can go see her.
- Jim: Okay.
- Dwight: You've been with a blonde before? It's the big leagues.
- Jim: I'm going home, and I'm taking my baby.
- Pam: No, no, don't. I will go talk to Angela.
- Dwight: She is in heat. She will eat your face off.
- Pam: The reverse cycling ends tonight.
- Dwight: A single piece of pepperoni, please.
- Jim: I'm not...
- Dwight: What are you doing?
- Kevin: I wanted to eat a pig in a blanket in a blanket.
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