- For the episode, see Two Weeks.
- See also: Full transcript on transcripts.foreverdreaming.org
- Jim: About a week ago, Michael gave his 2-week notice. And, surprisingly there is a very big difference between Michael trying and Michael not trying.
- Kevin: Michael is that scotch?
- Michael: Scotch with Splenda. Tastes like Splenda, gets you drunk like scotch.
- Stanley: Maybe you should go into your office, close the door, and make some calls about jobs?
- Michael: I have a job.
- Andy: For four more days.
- Pam: Do you have any leads on a job?
- Michael: Pam, what you don't understand is that at my level you just don't look in the want-ads for a job. You are head-hunted.
- Jim: You called any headhunters?
- Michael: Any good headhunter knows I am available.
- Dwight: Any really good headhunter would storm your village at sunset with overwhelming force and cut off your head with a ceremonial knife,
- Jim: Right, cause that's what we are talking about.
- Charles: Uh, I need you to go over this client list and indicate any wrong or false data.
- Michael: You're ‘I need you to' is my command.
- Charles: Okay.
- Charles: For regional manager I've decided to go with an outside hire. For obvious reasons.
- Dwight: Deutsch... let me see here. That is either an incense dispenser, or a ceremonial sarcophagus.
- Pam: Hmm...
- Dwight: My German is pre-industrial and mostly religious.
- Charles: I am aware of the effect I have on women.
- Kevin: I always thought Michael got a bad rap. He's a good guy. And he's super funny. Yeah, maybe I should tell him before he goes. He's all the way over there.
- Andy: The whole office feels darker, you know? It's just a sad dark day.
- Phyllis: Andy He's gone.
- Andy: I know.
- Phyllis: You don't have to kiss his ass anymore.
- Toby: Michael is like a movie on a plane. You know, it's not great, but it's something to watch. And when it's over you're like... how much time is left on this flight? Now what?
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