Toby introduces himself and mentions the numerous unfortunate nicknames given to him by Michael. He questions whether he is speaking to loudly.
Toby says there are no HR nightmares because a nightmare implies that it is a dream, but for him, it's a reality.
In reference to the episode Diversity Day, Toby asks Kelly what it was like to slap Michael. He takes great joy in hearing her brief story.
In reference to the episode Health Care, Toby explains that when he finally picked a healthcare plan, he chose an HMO. Michael asked him "Why'd you pick a homo?" Long story short, Michael called him a gay slut.
In reference to the episode Sexual Harassment, Angela asks Toby to repeat the sexual harassment seminar to help give a refresher course to "certain people" on female anatomy. Before he can ask who she is talking about, Angela hurries off.
In reference to the episode The Injury, Toby explains that after burning his foot on a George Foreman Grill, Michael attempted to invent a foot-safe version called "The Magic No Ouchie Meat Machine" which was essentially the grill in a bunny cage.
Toby explains what he would do differently if this was his last day on earth. He'd wear a t-shirt, order a French dip sandwich and eat the whole thing, blow up the building, go swimming, and drink wine.
Toby explains that HR isn't just a job, it's a way of life. He wishes it was just a job, though.