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The Seminar Quotes

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[Michael bumps into David Brent coming out of an elevator]
David: Oh, sorry, mate.
Michael: [in a poor British accent] "Oh, sorry, mate. Excuse me, mate."
David: [laughing] What are you doing?
Michael: English.
David: You're picking on the wrong person, I can tell you that much.
Michael: No, no, I'm not picking on you at all! You're English, correct?
David: Yeah, big time, yeah. Who are you?
Michael: I'm working on an English character. It's called Reginald Pooftah.
David: Oh! David Brent, my liege. How are you?
[they shake hands]
Michael: Michael Scott.
David: Oh, righty-o. I do characters as well. I got a Chinese fella. Not politically correct, but he's called Ho Lee [bleep]. That's what it sounds like.
Michael: I do Ping!
David: "Herro! Herro!"
Michael: "Herro, I'm Ping!"
David: You can't do that these days.
Michael: No, no, no, and people don't understand that it has nothing to do with making fun of a different nationality.
David: No, no, comedy is a place where the mind goes to tickle itself. That's what she said! Hahahahaha!!!
[Michael hugs David]
Michael: That's good! A pleasure to meet you!
David: Where are you working?
Michael: Dunder Mifflin.
David: Any jobs going?
Michael: No, not right now.
David: Just let me know.
Michael: Alright. See you around.
David: OK, man.
Michael: Bye-bye. [David walks off] What a nice guy.

Creed: Two eyes, two ears, a chin, a mouth, ten fingers, two nipples. A butt, two kneecaps, a penis. I have just described to you the Loch Ness Monster. And the reward for its capture? All the riches in Scotland. So I have one question: Why are you here?

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