- For the episode, see The Seminar.
- See also: Full transcript on transcripts.foreverdreaming.org
- [Michael bumps into David Brent coming out of an elevator]
- David: Oh, sorry, mate.
- Michael: [in a poor British accent] "Oh, sorry, mate. Excuse me, mate."
- David: [laughing] What are you doing?
- Michael: English.
- David: You're picking on the wrong person, I can tell you that much.
- Michael: No, no, I'm not picking on you at all! You're English, correct?
- David: Yeah, big time, yeah. Who are you?
- Michael: I'm working on an English character. It's called Reginald Pooftah.
- David: Oh! David Brent, my liege. How are you?
- [they shake hands]
- Michael: Michael Scott.
- David: Oh, righty-o. I do characters as well. I got a Chinese fella. Not politically correct, but he's called Ho Lee [bleep]. That's what it sounds like.
- Michael: I do Ping!
- David: "Herro! Herro!"
- Michael: "Herro, I'm Ping!"
- David: You can't do that these days.
- Michael: No, no, no, and people don't understand that it has nothing to do with making fun of a different nationality.
- David: No, no, comedy is a place where the mind goes to tickle itself. That's what she said! Hahahahaha!!!
- [Michael hugs David]
- Michael: That's good! A pleasure to meet you!
- David: Where are you working?
- Michael: Dunder Mifflin.
- David: Any jobs going?
- Michael: No, not right now.
- David: Just let me know.
- Michael: Alright. See you around.
- David: OK, man.
- Michael: Bye-bye. [David walks off] What a nice guy.
- Creed: Two eyes, two ears, a chin, a mouth, ten fingers, two nipples. A butt, two kneecaps, a penis. I have just described to you the Loch Ness Monster. And the reward for its capture? All the riches in Scotland. So I have one question: Why are you here?
- Kevin: There are some people who have charm and some people who don't. Guess which type I am. Charm type.
- Kelly: Who am I? I'm Kelly Kapoor, the business bitch.
- Kelly: It is important to brand yourself, so I have a couple of things in works. “The Business Bitch”, “The Diet Bitch”, “The Shopping Bitch”, “The Etiquette Bitch.”
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