- For the episode, see The Merger.
- See also: Full transcript on transcripts.foreverdreaming.org
- Dwight: I am fast. To give you a reference point. I'm somewhere between a snake and a mongoose. And a panther.
- Pam: Am I being mean to Dwight? I don't know, I did just make him run around the building, and I have no intention of timing him. This isn't even a stopwatch, it's a digital thermometer! He does make my life harder sometimes, and on purpose, like, he tried to put meters on the bathroom stalls as a way of bringing in more money for the company. I should really get back to work.
- Dwight: Dwight Schrute, Assistant Regional Manager.
- Andy: Andy Bernard, Regional Director in charge of Sales.
- Dwight: So, you'll be reporting to me, then...
- Andy: Um, on the contrary...
- Dwight: My title has "manager" in is...
- Andy: And I'm a "director"...
- Andy: Am I trying to get under his skin? Yes, because, the angrier he gets, the more marginalized he becomes. Meanwhile, Andy Bernard is out there layin' on the charm.
- Stanley: I don't know who these new people think they are. I've sat downwind of Phyllis's stinky perfumes for years; never said a word.
- Andy: Dwight may have won the battle. But I will win... the next battle.
- Martin: What the hell is with this guy?
- Stanley: Got an hour? I'll try to explain.
- Stanley: Trust me, it only gets worse!
- Martin: Is he always like this?
- Ryan: Sometimes he brings more costumes.
- Hannah: When do people work?
- Phyllis: We find little times during the day.
- Karen: How are we gonna get home?
- Phyllis: Bob Vance has an air pump. He said he'd fill all our tires up.
- Karen: Bob Vance, of Vance Refrigeration?
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