For the episode, see: The Delivery.

Dwight Schrute: "I need a baby. I'll never outsell Jim and Pam without one. Also, I've been noticing a gaping hole in my life. Sometimes I wake up cradling a gourd."

Pam Beesly: "Ok, ok, we are not going the hospital, we are waiting until midnight."

Erin Hannon: "Oooh. Spooky. But why?"

Jim Halpert: "Because, the insurance company only covers two nights."

Pam Beesly: "Everything's fine. We've got plenty of time."

Nick: "Well, you don't wanna wait too long Pam. Otherwise the baby's going to become a teenager in there and uh you'll be up all night. From, the rock music."

Michael Scott: Shut up, Nick! God. Weird thing to say. Weird IT Nerd. Don't get revenge on me nerd.

[give an innocent scoff and looks for support]

Angela: What are you looking at?

Michael: (To everybody) Should I bring a dictionary to the hospital?

Oscar:The hospital will provide dictionaries, bring a thesaurus!