- For the episode, see The Convention.
- See also: Full transcript on transcripts.foreverdreaming.org
- Michael: Um... find out if there's a cheaper, less expensive baby out there, okay?
- Pam: You know, she also said the waiting list is like eight months.
- Michael: Eight months?
- Pam: Yeah.
- Michael: I don't even know if I'll want a baby in eight months.
- Pam: Yeah, you probably won't
- Michael: You know what, Pam? If in ten years, I haven't had a baby, and you haven't had a baby…
- Pam: No, Michael.
- Michael: Twenty years.
- Pam: No, Michael.
- Michael: Thirty.
- Pam: Sure.
- Michael: It's a deal.
- Angela: In the Martin family, we like to say, "Looks like someone took the slow train from Philly." That's code for "check out the slut."
- Creed: There's my girl. I noticed you handing out some shekels. How would one get on that train?
- Angela: That was for per diem, for Philadelphia.
- Meredith: That town smells like cheese steaks.
- Angela: That town is full of history!
- Creed: [To Meredith] Andrea's the office bitch. You'll get used to her. [Introducing himself] Creed.
- Michael: I was shocked when he told me he was transferring to Stamford. It's like the firemen. You don't leave your brothers behind, even if you find out that there is a better fire in Connecticut.
- Jim: You know, when I saw Dwight, I realized how stupid and petty all those pranks I pulled on him were... and then he spoke.
- Jim: Oh, no, sorry, it's an inside joke. There's this bartender at Stamford who, uh… you know what? You'd just have to be there.
- Michael: Wish I was. I love inside jokes. I'd love to be a part of one someday.
- Jim: Michael…
- Michael: I get it! No, no, I totally get it. He made a better paper airplane, Stamford is better in sales… I get it. We had some fun. We had some laughs. And that's just…
- Jim: Wait, wait. I didn't transfer because of you. You're a good boss. You're a great boss.
- Michael: I'm not better than Josh.
- Jim: Michael, it's not about… I transferred because of Pam.
- Michael: Oh my God. You don't even know. She's single now.
- Jim: No, I just… I heard something about that. It's just, I kind of put it all on the line. Twice, actually. And she said no. Twice.
- Michael: Now, would you do the pleasure of hitting the lights, sir? [Lights go out, leaving Michael's black light on] Ha, ha, ha.
- Dwight: Ha, ha, ha, ha.
- Michael: Whoa. What are those stains?
- Dwight: Blood, urine, or semen.
- Michael: Oh, God, I hope it's urine.
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