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Lecture Circuit Part 2 Quotes

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See episode Lecture Circuit Part 2

Angela: I am proud to announce that there is a new addition to the Martin family. She's hypoallergenic. She doesn't struggle when you try to dress her. She's a third-generation show cat. Her father was in 'Meet the Parents.' Needless to say, she was very, very expensive.

Dwight: (from another room) What did you do?!
Kelly: Stop yelling at me!
Dwight: What did you do?!
Kelly: I didn't do anything!
Dwight: What did you learn in there? I bet you learned something there, like how to fashion a sieve. Hmm?
Jim: Hey, what the hell's going on?
Dwight: Why don't you tell Jim where you were from ages 14 to 15..
Kelly: I was kicking it.
Dwight: In juvie.
Jim: What?
Dwight: Juvie... nile detention center? where they send teenagers.
Jim: Yep.
Dwight: For reha-
Jim: Got it.
Dwight: What did you do? Huh?
Jim: Hey, Dwight, sounds like she was 14, so maybe we wanna go a little easy.
Dwight: Yeah, if she's old enough to get married, she's old enough to follow the law. [to Kelly] What did you do?
Kelly:My boyfriend dumped me, so, I stole his boat. I mean, he told me it was his boat. It was actually his father's. And I just thought it'd be really romantic, like "Thelma and Louise", but with, like, a boat. And it was the worst year of my life. And I can't believe that you guys are making me talk about this on my birthday!
Dwight: I thought you said yesterday was your birthday!
Jim: Hey, you know what? I got you a cake.
Kelly: Really? I want to see the cake.
(we now cut to the kitchen area. Inside are Jim, Dwight, Kelly, and Phyllis. Jim shows a plain cake without flowers and her name.)
Jim: And, ta-da.

Kelly: I hate it.
Jim:How do you hate it? It's a cake.
Kelly:Well, there's no flowers... or toys... or--- I mean, there's nothing on it. Where did you even find a cake like this? I mean, it doesn't have my name on it! Do you guys know what my name is? My name is Kelly!
Jim: Right. (in confessional) I forgot if there was an "e" between the "l" and the "y." I still don't know.

Kelly: I mean, I don't even know what the theme is. What's the theme?!
Dwight: Frosting.
Jim: Birthday.
Kelly: Those aren't... themes. There's always a theme. [walks out].
Phyllis: There's always a theme.
Dwight: Nice job on the cake, Bozo!
Jim: OK. You know what? Next time, I'll let you get the cake, and I get to scream at the birthday girl.

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