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Creed: What is wrong with this woman? She's asking about stuff that's nobody's business. "What do I do?"... Really, what do I do here? I should've written it down. "Qua" something, uh... qua... quar... quibo, qual...quir-quabity. Quabity assuance! No. No, no, no, no, but I'm getting close.
Jim: Hey, Ryan, it's Jim. Look, man, I don't know what's gotten into you lately, but you know what? I really don't care, because you're trying to get rid of me - and I bet you think I don't care enough about this job to actually fight back, but you're wrong, because I do, and I will. So you can keep trying to push me out of this place, but guess what? I'm not going anywhere.
Oscar: Well this is what happened: uh, Ryan's big project was the website - which wasn't doing so well. So Ryan, in order to give the impression of sales, recorded them twice - once as office sales and once as website sales, which is what we in the business refer to as "misleading the shareholders" - another good term is "fraud"...The real crime, I think, was the beard.
Kelly: I cannot wait to visit Ryan in prison...I'm gonna wear my hottest tracksuit, get my hair done, and then be like, "Hi, Ryan"...And then all the other prisoners are gonna be like, "Damn, Ryan, you got a hot ex-girlfriend, ooh, I would never have treated her so bad when I was outside of prison!"
Jim: Hey, Ryan, it's Jim - you know what? Totally disregard that last voicemail because you obviously have your hands tied.
Jan: If I was 22, and I had lots of time...to have lots of children...then, sure, let's let Michael have a shot at one of them. But, honestly, I need to make this one count.